Saturday, June 09, 2012

Les Yeux 'Verts

Sometimes when I'm out sitting somewhere I like to write---just journal
entry-type stuff, musings. My brain latched on to an idea the other day and
I thought I'd share and see what you think.

Something had me thinking about death I suppose, because I started out with

"I've made a very good run at life," I sat there thinking "sure, there are
many things I could still do. But what do I really NEED to experience?" My
answer to myself was "love."

I need to explain this. I know love in many ways---love for my fellow man,
love for my dear family and friends. But what I have not had (and I believe
it exists) is that kind of romantic love that is one for the history books,
where there is undeniable mutual respect combined with a fierce passion.

I admit that I want that. Maybe we all do. I won't settle for less than
that either. I may have a long wait on my hands, but that's fine. I'm also
a lighthearted soul who loves to meet all kinds of people and have a
wonderful time. There's just a great divide between those light, fun
friendships and this other kind of love.

It seems in relationships that one person always feels more than the other.
Someone is always giving up something. I'd like to be in a situation where
both people want to give 110%, where there is compassion and understanding
on both sides, where there is patience and passion, overwhelming kindness
and goodness---a beautiful balance of love for self and love for the other
person---where maybe that means exactly the same thing.

Love for you = love for me and vice versa. But then maybe it has meant that
all along and I'm just now catching on. That's more likely the truth of it.

I've got it stuck in my head now. This seems like something that will just
have to appear or grow organically from something that's already there.
That being said, I'm not much of a seeker. I tend to just BE right here, in
the present moment with my eyes open. Seems like a good place to begin.

I'd welcome any thoughts on the subject.



  1. Your cuz3:22 PM

    Hey Rae,

    Don't be mad at me but I think that is your problem. until you give yourself up fully to LOVE, you will never find peace. LOVE is not something with which we keep score, it is something that we give unconditionally. LOVE (at least human love) is also not perfect. It is something that must be constantly worked on. I see that as a positive because if it came easy, would it really have any value? It is like riding your bike up a steep mountain pass, most of the time it is filled with pain and doubt. But if you keep going, if you keep fighting, in the end, when you look back it all makes perfect sense. When you are at the top, you are glad you made the journey, pain and all.

    at least that is my beliefs . . .


    1. Hi cuz,

      If you got the impression that I am keeping score, I didn't make my point very well. What I hope to experience sometime is that kind that doesn't keep score. That doesn't need to or want to. Maybe it's the not perfect part I can't get over. I think I do want it to be perfect somewhere deep down. I'm pretty sure that is, in fact, my grappling point. Hm. Serious food for thought. Thanks for taking time to read and post, my dear cousin. I hope to see you all again sooner than later! Much love to you and yours.


  2. I think you've already heard my views on this, but here is my profound thought:
    Love is giving to someone everything you want and having them give it back to you without your asking. Now, that would be it! I've never found it, either. Good have more time left than I do. love to you from your MOM/WOW

  3. I think, mom, that we should maybe give what the other person wants and needs, not what we, ourselves want. And I think if we do want something, we should ask for it, not just expect it to happen. My 2 cents.

  4. Than you for sharing...

    Our western post-modern world still tends to over romanticize “true love”. Not to say it is impossible to come across. It is. It is also as easy to lose it, as it is to find it. As easy to have it taken away from one, ripping out the heart and any and all organs that get in the way. It is a very powerful force, but it isn’t an isolated emotion. It comes with it’s own luggage, and it is not carry-on.

    I would never regret having found such a love. Nor should anyone. But I would also caution against looking too hard or hoping to have it for the rest of one’s life. Sure there are folks who have that fortune. The couple that stayed married and in love for 60+ years, who died within hours of each other, still holding hands.

    From the distance of a love long lost, life goes on. It isn’t the same, but it isn’t unbearable. Dark at times, yes. Terribly sad, yes. But the intensity of the love, if even for a few short years, that is something one never forgets. A door for which there never is “closure”, nor should there be.

    I reckon being in the moment is the best way to attract anything or no thing. In any case, having an open heart, and a willing spirit, for whatever comes your way, if even for the slight breeze or whisper of something we call love, is more than enough to keep on the light of hope, eyes wide open.

  5. Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I appreciate it. I hope to remain content to experience this or not. Just to be really here for the moments that are my life and to enjoy them as fully as possible.