Sometimes when I'm out sitting somewhere I like to write---just journal
entry-type stuff, musings. My brain latched on to an idea the other day and
I thought I'd share and see what you think.
Something had me thinking about death I suppose, because I started out with
"I've made a very good run at life," I sat there thinking "sure, there are
many things I could still do. But what do I really NEED to experience?" My
answer to myself was "love."
I need to explain this. I know love in many ways---love for my fellow man,
love for my dear family and friends. But what I have not had (and I believe
it exists) is that kind of romantic love that is one for the history books,
where there is undeniable mutual respect combined with a fierce passion.
I admit that I want that. Maybe we all do. I won't settle for less than
that either. I may have a long wait on my hands, but that's fine. I'm also
a lighthearted soul who loves to meet all kinds of people and have a
wonderful time. There's just a great divide between those light, fun
friendships and this other kind of love.
It seems in relationships that one person always feels more than the other.
Someone is always giving up something. I'd like to be in a situation where
both people want to give 110%, where there is compassion and understanding
on both sides, where there is patience and passion, overwhelming kindness
and goodness---a beautiful balance of love for self and love for the other
person---where maybe that means exactly the same thing.
Love for you = love for me and vice versa. But then maybe it has meant that
all along and I'm just now catching on. That's more likely the truth of it.
I've got it stuck in my head now. This seems like something that will just
have to appear or grow organically from something that's already there.
That being said, I'm not much of a seeker. I tend to just BE right here, in
the present moment with my eyes open. Seems like a good place to begin.
I'd welcome any thoughts on the subject.