Recently, I was most uncomfortably seen through by a brand new woman friend with a keen soul who, almost immediately upon meeting me, told me, "I see you. You want someone to love you and adore you and treat you like a princess...like a little girl." Pointed her finger at me, looked me in the eye, "I see you." I fell to a puddle on the floor like the scene in "Amélie" . One of my favorite films of all time by the way. No one has EVER seen through me like that---not so fast, not so unbelievably piercingly, not EVER. Creeped me out a little. Ok, a LOT! Decided I better not look at her the rest of the night for fear of what she might see. It either worked or she just took pity on me.
I had no idea I was even lonely until you looked me in the eye, touched my skin, put your strong arms around me, kissed my neck and gave me chills from my head to my feet---like listening to Adèle. Thanks a whole lot. Really. (Please for the love of all things good and decent hear the sardonic tone in that.) I mean, now what the fuck am I supposed to do with it? A thousand miles away with someone else. Getting all misty-eyed in a moment of pause at work for no good reason. Pfffff. Whatever. Push it away. Stuff it somewhere. Too much to do to dwell on such silliness, such dalliances. What was it really? I don't pretend to know. It felt real for a minute at least. What I do know is that I've been a weepy ridiculous fool today. No idea why precisely. A sweet bunny rabbit family. Another Adèle tune.
Ever just feel this emotional? Very connected? In touch with everything around you. Bleeding compassion. Sisterhood. Brotherhood. Commonality. Humanity. A real love. A real connection to everything all at once. People, animals, nature, the air itself, breath, molecules. It's a bit overwhelming. Doesn't happen to me too often. Thank goodness---or maybe, sadly. Probably sadly.